Let’s be honest — this isn’t a bitter rant from a parent whose kid didn’t make the school choir (although, I’ve heard him sing, and let’s just say… it’s better this way). This is an honest, slightly sarcastic, and highly caffeinated reflection on what we think is good for our kids… and what might actually be backfiring in the most glittery, well-intentioned way possible.

The Death of Healthy Competition

Back in my day (cue the dramatic piano), we played outside without helmets, scraped our knees, cried, got up, and ran again. In school, second place meant “try harder,” not “well done, here’s a ribbon for showing up.”

I was a national-level athlete as a teenager. Every second place, every loss, every missed opportunity hit hard — and I needed that. It didn’t break me. It sharpened me. Losing built the fire. Winning made it worth it. You didn’t get a reward for just being there — you had to earn it.

Now? My kids — and they’re not toddlers anymore — grew up with sporting days where every child got a medal, no matter if they ran like Usain Bolt or wandered across the field looking for snacks. Football club awards? Everyone gets a trophy — even if they played once and fell over. Class monitor? That’s now a rotating title handed out weekly so everyone gets a turn to feel “important.”

We’ve swapped performance for participation. Effort for emotion. And the result?

They’re not weak. But the fire — that healthy, motivating, character-building competitiveness — has been gently smothered by a plush teddy bear of good intentions.

The Participation Mindset is Now in Adulthood, Too

And it doesn’t stop at kids.

Just look at adults these days: you run a marathon (or a half), and what do you get? A medal. Great job! Did you win? No? Doesn’t matter — you participated. You sweated. Here’s your shiny token.

Now, I’m all for personal achievement, but let’s be honest — if you didn’t win, take a photo, post it proudly, keep the memory, and carry on. That medal? It’s a souvenir, not a sign of supremacy. It’s a physical reminder that effort is valuable, but it’s not the same as victory.

And that same mindset has bled into school systems, workplaces, and everyday life. We’re building a culture that values the act of turning up more than the act of levelling up.

And Now… Workplaces Are Paying the Price

What schools avoided — workplaces now deal with. And trust me, it’s not pretty.

Managers today aren’t managing businesses — they’re managing feelings. They’re part-leader, part-therapist, part-zookeeper. They’re navigating emotional landmines while trying to hit quarterly targets.

Promotions? Forget leadership skills, vision, or capability. In many places, young people are being promoted because…

“Well… they’re the only one left who hasn’t quit.”

That’s it. Not talent. Not drive. Just attendance.

And because of that, companies are now hiring leadership coaches and consultants like they’re going out of style — not to train future leaders, but to stabilize managers who were never ready in the first place.

The irony? The managers are the ones who now need to be managed.

The Harsh Truth, Backed by Research

This isn’t just my frustrated-parent monologue — science backs it:


  • Stanford University (Carol Dweck) showed that praising effort is great — until it’s done without real achievement. Then it just kills motivation.
  • A Harvard study found that today’s young workforce is showing record levels of anxiety, burnout, and emotional fragility — traced back to a lack of early-life resilience.
  • Gallup reports that only 1 in 10 employees has natural management talent — yet we’re promoting whoever looks the least likely to cry at feedback.


And then we wonder why everyone’s stressed, passive-aggressive, or quitting by Thursday.

Strong People Create Good Times...

There’s an old saying that hits a little too close to home these days:

Strong people create good times. Good times create weak people. Weak people create hard times. Hard times create strong people.

Look around. We’re deep into the “weak people create hard times” phase — and those hard times are being handled by 23-year-olds with job titles like “Junior Growth Empowerment Lead” and a meltdown every time someone requests a Zoom call after 4pm.

So What Can We Do?

Let kids lose. Let them feel disappointment. Let them learn to recover, not retreat. Let them earn responsibility, not rotate it. Let adults stop expecting standing ovations for basic effort.

Because when they grow up, the world won’t clap when they submit a late assignment. They won’t get a trophy for attending Monday. And their future boss won’t be interested in their “effort energy” if they can’t deliver results.

We’re Not Raising Resilient Kids — We’re Manufacturing Midlife Crises in Advance

If we want confident adults, strong leaders, and workplaces that don’t need emotional first-aid kits every Friday, we have to start earlier.

Raise kids who can cope. Promote people who can lead. And bring back the simple idea that not everyone wins — and that’s okay.

Because life isn’t a primary school sports day. And sometimes the best thing you can do for your child… Is let them come second — and teach them to come back stronger.